People with Caner
I’m pretty sure this person was searching for people with cancer, not people with Ergun Caner. Although, Caner can certainly be hazardous to your theological health.
the drunken peasant martin luther
This is a bizarre reason for infamy: being famous for being drunk. I’m sure there were lots of drunken peasants in Germany, so there must be something else that makes Luther worth talking about today. Actually Luther wasn’t a peasant (or a drunk). Luther was of the burgher class, not the peasant class. His father was a burghermeister. This google search makes him sound like Otis the Town Drunk from the Andy Griffith Show. You can just imagine Andy saying with his Southern drawl,
“Now Martin, if you don’t straighten up and behave all civil like, I’m a goi’na haf’ta lock you up.”
Later, Barney Fife walks in, “Who ya got in the cell there, Andy?”
Andy: “Aww Barn, that’s just the drunk peasant Martin Luther.”
bible inherency
Yes, folks, we have an inherent Bible. Don’t let anyone one try to tell you otherwise. It’s true: the Bible inheres with itself. Of course, this doesn’t do much for Christian doctrine since Moby Dick and X-men comics are also inherent. In fact, we’re all inherent. So go out there and boast proudly that people should listen to you because, after all, you’re inherent.
pauline dispensationalism
Not to be confused with Darbyian dispensationalism, Scofieldian dispensationalism, Ryrian dispensationalism. I’m talking about Pauline dispensationalism. After all, if dispensationalism is good enough for Paul, it’s good enough for me, Amen.
Karl Barth should not be domesticated
Apparently, there are Karl Barths running wild out there. It appears that the searcher has cast his vote in favor of letting them roam free. But what if Karl Barths are dangerous? What if they hurt you or your pastor? Perhaps we should cage them before this happens.
Personally, I think we should domesticate all Karl Barths out there. They’re an endangered species and if we don’t protect them they might become extinct.
For the original “Strange Google Searches that Lead to Chaos” click here.
I think the only posts I read on this site are the funny ones. Keep them coming! I especially like the Barney/Andy/Martin Luther scenario. Fraiser, can you show me how to look at the google searches on our blog?
John,
Good ones! My only objection is to your assumption that domesticating the Karl Barths is the best way to preserve the species. Who are we to take away the freedom of such noble creatures? I suspect that the Karl Barths of the world would rather die than be forced to live as pets and zoo exhibits in our western, capitalist, materialist society!
But perhaps we would do better to focus on our areas of agreement. I can organize the protests if you will look into getting the “Save the Karl Barths” bumper stickers printed up. Perhaps if we pull a few strings we can arrange a spot on the Albert Mohler Live radio show or, better yet, get a hollywood celebrity to endorse our cause on a TV commercial.
Thanks for the humor. I needed it.
KWR
This is great, I wish google would send some my way. People with Caner sounds like a talk show.